Develop a Discipleship System
10 Ways to Turn Off Your Donors
By Ken Sloane
A decade ago, when I was about four years into my job as Director of Stewardship at Discipleship Ministries, I had the opportunity to study at the Lilly School of Philanthropy in Indianapolis, Indiana, to earn a certificate in fund-raising management. For most of my classes, I was the only church employee in the group of secular nonprofits. The most beneficial part of this program was seeing how seriously those responsible for fundraising in these organizations cared for their donors. Honestly, it made me realize how often we in the church take our donors for granted.
The relationship between a church (or any nonprofit) and its donors is sacred. When nurtured, this relationship flourishes, leading to a lasting impact on both the donor and the mission. However, some pitfalls can alienate those who contribute to your cause. Based on my experience as a United Methodist pastor and my experience with charitable nonprofits, I offer these ten mistakes that may turn off donors.
1. FAIL TO ACKNOWLEDGE GIFTS
Failing to acknowledge donations promptly is a quick way to alienate supporters. Donors want to feel appreciated and valued. A simple, heartfelt thank you goes a long way in maintaining and strengthening the relationship. When gifts are not acknowledged, donors may feel unimportant, and they might reconsider their future support. In a ministry context, gratitude should be central; remember, every gift, no matter the size, deserves recognition.
2. TALK ABOUT YOUR BILLS, NOT YOUR IMPACT
Nothing diminishes a donor's enthusiasm faster than a fundraiser focusing solely on the organization's expenses. When the primary conversation revolves around utility bills, salaries, or maintenance costs, it paints a picture of an organization merely trying to survive. Instead, donors want to know how their gifts are making a difference. They are more likely to contribute when they see stories of lives changed, communities uplifted, and missions accomplished. Share the fruits of their generosity, not the seeds of your financial needs.
When the primary conversation revolves around utility bills, salaries, or maintenance costs, it paints a picture of an organization merely trying to survive. Instead, donors want to know how their gifts are making a difference.
3. FOCUS TOO MUCH ON THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T GIVE
It can be tempting to highlight the gaps left by those who don’t contribute to spur others into action. All church members need to grow in their discipleship and generosity. However, focusing too much on nongivers can create a sense of guilt or frustration among your faithful donors, who may feel their contributions are undervalued. Instead, focus on celebrating the generosity of those who do give. Recognize and affirm the positive impact they help to create. Positive reinforcement encourages ongoing and increased giving and encourages nongivers to want to be part of the celebration!
4. WHEN ENGAGING WITH YOUR DONORS, YOU TALK MORE THAN YOU LISTEN
Effective communication is a two-way street. When engaging with donors, listening as much as (if not more than) you speak is essential. Donors have insights, ideas, and passions that, if heard and respected, can deepen their connection to your cause. When you dominate the conversation, you signal that you are more interested in their wallets than their wisdom. Instead, create spaces for dialogue where donors feel their voices matter in the direction and decisions of the organization.
5. APOLOGIZE FOR ASKING PEOPLE TO GIVE
Approaching fundraising with a sense of guilt or reluctance is detrimental. When you apologize for asking people to give, you undermine the importance of your mission and the value of their contribution. Generosity is a spiritual discipline; inviting others to participate in the work of the church or a nonprofit is an opportunity for them to live out their faith. Rather than apologizing, frame the request as an invitation to be part of something meaningful and transformative.
6. OVERWHELM THEM WITH INFORMATION
While it’s important to keep donors informed, overwhelming them with too much information can have the opposite effect. Lengthy newsletters, excessive emails, or complex reports can cause donors to tune out. Instead, focus on clear, concise communication that highlights the most significant stories. Quality over quantity should be your guiding principle.
7. ASSUME THEY UNDERSTAND THE NEED
Never assume that donors automatically understand the needs of your organization. It’s essential to explain the challenges clearly (and succinctly) and how donors' support can make a difference. Paint a vivid picture of the need and connect it directly to the potential impact of contributions. This helps donors see where their contributions are going and why they are crucial.
8. NEGLECT TO SHOW LONG-TERM RESULTS
Donors want to know that their gifts are leading to sustainable, long-term change. If you fail to show the ongoing impact of their support, they may begin to question the effectiveness of their giving. Regularly update them on progress and how their contributions are part of a larger, long-term strategy. This helps build trust and encourages continued support.
9. TREAT ALL DONORS THE SAME
Not all donors are the same; treating them as such can be off-putting. Tailoring communication and engagement to your donors' specific interests and capacities can go a long way in fostering deeper relationships. Some of your donors may prefer a conversation in their living room or at the kitchen table, while others prefer a lunch invitation; still others may prefer a call, text, or email. Recognize that different donors have different motivations and lifestyles, so strive to meet them where they are. Personalized attention can significantly enhance their connection to your mission.
10. FAIL TO CONNECT THEIR GIVING TO THEIR VALUES
Donors give because they believe in something. You risk losing their support if you fail to connect their contributions to their values and beliefs. Engage donors by linking their generosity to their faith, values, and the causes they care about. Show them how their giving is an expression of their deeply held beliefs and a way to live out their values in tangible ways. I remember (and remind others as often as I can) two principles lifted by Lovett Weems and Ann Michel in their book Generosity, Stewardship, and Abundance:
- Never talk about people’s money apart from their discipleship.
- Never talk about the church’s money apart from its mission.
The relationship between a church (or any other charitable organization) and its donors is delicate. You can build lasting partnerships that sustain and grow your mission by avoiding these pitfalls and focusing on meaningful, respectful, and value-driven engagement. Remember, donors are not just sources of funds; they are partners in your ministry, and they deserve the same care and respect you would give to any coworkers in the secular marketplace.
Discipleship Ministries staff created this content with the support of AI tools.
Ken Sloane is the Director of Stewardship & Generosity for Discipleship Ministries of The United Methodist Church.
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