A Chaplain’s Wish to Connecting with Long-Term Care Residents

I have been in ministry in a long-term care facility for the last quarter-century. Although seminaries do an excellent job preparing people for parish ministry, they don’t do as good a job in helping people know how to minister properly with people who are homebound or reside in long-term care facilities.

I have learned much about ministry in these settings on-the-job.

So, here, from a chaplain’s viewpoint, is my wish list for my colleagues regarding visits with older adults who live in long-term care facilities:

1. The most important one is: visit. It is that simple and that difficult. A second-career-pastor said he didn’t visit homebound adults because in his previous career in law enforcement, his visits weren’t welcome, and he carried that into his new profession. At another church, a laity care team visits on the church's behalf. While the visits are welcomed and they provide some connection to the church, these do not replace a visit from the church pastor—at least once or twice a year. I get it; we are all busy. But I also know that we find time to do what we believe is important to do.

2. Think about appropriate gifts from the church. Many older adults have vision, hearing, and/or coordination difficulties.

I received an Advent calendar one year. Behind each little window was a scripture reference and picture. The font was so small that I had difficulty reading it, so I know that people with vision impairments could not decipher the message. Another time, a resident received a jigsaw puzzle with pieces so small that the individual, who lives with a hand tremor, could not put it together. Church folks mean well. I am aware that items with small print are more cost effective to purchase for large groups. But a gift that is completely unusable isn’t much of a gift at all.

Food gifts are also tricky. A visitor arrived with a resident’s favorite cookies, only to find out that the resident now requires food to be pureed. I wish that people would give food gifts only when they know for certain the food is something the individual can eat.

3. My final wish is easy to do—start a conversation to start a relationship. When you don’t know the person you are visiting very well, you can stimulate conversation by asking about the family pictures in a resident’s room. People generally enjoy talking about their families – especially grandchildren. Other conversation starters are favorite scriptures or Bible stories. Be sure to bring a Bible to read those favorites!

Visits to a long-term-care facility may feel like a dreaded chore. But as you become more familiar with a facility and the people who reside there, the visits become more like visits to one’s own family. I invite you to step out of your comfort zone and make someone’s day – just by visiting.

Rev. Lea Harding is the Director of Pastoral Care for the United Methodist Homes Hilltop Campus in Johnson City, New York. She attended Iliff School of Theology in Denver, Colorado, fully expecting to serve in a local church. However, she discovered a call to be a pastor to older adults in long-term care and has served in that capacity for twenty-five years.