Ministering With Families Facing Dementia

One of the greatest blessings of my life comes from sharing in the lives of care partners as they love family members through Alzheimer’s or related dementias. Four out of five of these families fracture under the stresses of caregiving. Emotionally, spiritually, financially, and psychologically—their needs guide our dementia ministry at every turn.

Often, through tears, they tell me some version of the following: “My wife and I supported, loved, and participated in our church all our lives … until dementia came. Now, friends, family, even clergy do not visit or call.”

Theologian John Swinton tells us, “The problem is not that people with dementia forget. The problem is that they are forgotten”.

Retired United Methodist Bishop Kenneth Carder says that when the church forgets these families, it would be easy for families to believe that God has forgotten them, also.

Care partners often ask me, “Where is God in all this?” My faith tells me that God is where God has always been. The question, instead, should be, “Where are we, the church, in all this?”

How do we begin to minister with families facing dementia? The answers will be as different as the faiths, the communities, and the leaders themselves.

Our dementia ministry in Marietta, Georgia, began with a simple conversation in our church parking lot. Two friends, each loving their mothers through Alzheimer’s, found life-altering comfort in talking with each other. They invited others to join them for what became our church’s first family support group. They had no budget, no plan. What they did have was a longing to make the dementia journey easier for the next family, to let them know that they were not alone.