How Many Times?

Fellowship – Snacks or a Meal (10 minutes with snacks; longer, obviously, if there is a meal).

Gathering Time (5-10 minutes). In pairs or groups of three, ask participants, “What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘forgiveness’?”

Group Dialogue (Approximately 30 minutes). Read Matthew 18:21-35.

How many times did Jesus say we need to forgive those who sinned against us? [Seventy-seven times] (Matthew 18:22) “77 times, what do you think it means?” “Seventy-seven times, or seventy times seven. Which is it? Doesn’t matter; it wasn’t math; it was and is grace. Jesus wasn’t giving us a checklist, a counter so that whatever high number we get to there is a limit, and once we reach it, then pow. No, he was trying to talk in terms of infinite grace” (September 17 Preaching Notes). How do you feel when you hear that we need to forgive so many times?

Note: In my culture, it was considered good and honorable not to forgive. Sometimes forgiveness was seen as a sign of weakness. History tells me that some families told one generation to another that they would never forgive certain families. I know someone who has not forgiven a friend who did something fifty years ago. It was refreshing for me to know that Christ taught us to forgive because God forgave us first. Even in his last breath, Jesus asked God to forgive us (Luke 23:34). What an amazing grace! After I became a Christian and pastor, I encouraged other Christians in my culture to forgive; however, I have seen some people struggle with this idea because it conflicts with their cultural understanding of forgiveness.

• How did you learn forgiveness (or how you did not learn forgiveness)? Who taught you to forgive when you were growing up?

In the parable, what do you think the king symbolizes? [God] What do you think the parable means? The slave who was forgiven a great debt refused to forgive a fellow slave a much smaller debt. Why do you think he reacted this way? Does it reflect the human tendency to withhold forgiveness? How might we learn from it?

A similar message is in the Lord’s prayer; “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). As many of us say the Lord’s prayer often, how might we live a life of forgiveness? How might unforgiveness affect our own well-being and relationships? What area of your life might need help from God to forgive?

Optional Activities:

• Reflect on what God has done to forgive and provide grace in your life.
• Pray for God’s guidance to forgive someone who did something to you.
• Work on letting go of bitterness and resentment.
• If possible, try to seek reconciliation.
• Although it may be challenging, try to practice forgiveness all the time as a Christian practice.

Prayer (10 minutes). Share prayer requests and respond appropriately.

Sending Forth (2 minutes). End with the following prayer, a similar prayer, or the Lord’s Prayer:

Gracious and Loving God, thank you for forgiving us endlessly. Grant us the strength to forgive others, releasing any bitterness or resentment. May the transformative power of forgiveness bring healing and reconciliation in our relationships. Amen.

Join us for the Prayer Partner Project.

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Does your church have an international discipleship path?

We at Discipleship Ministries invite each congregation and worshiping community to develop an intentional discipleship plan in their local context. There are resources and mentors that you can access on our website to help you develop and implement your plan. Please call upon us to help you if you have not already begun such a journey (https://www.umcdiscipleship.org/resources/discipleship-system-example).

Rev. Motoe Yamada Foor, Director of Adult Discipleship, served in local churches for twenty years. She is passionate about moving churches toward a more missional and spiritual focus so that they can make more disciples of Jesus Christ. She has a wealth of experience at various organizational levels of The United Methodist Church and in ecumenical organizations such as the World Council of Churches (WCC). She also enjoys serving as a coach to help people grow as disciples.